6 Tips for Cultivating Workplace Relationships in a Virtual World
Studies show that social connections play a central role in fostering a sense of purpose and well-being in the workplace. One particular study by Gallup found that people who have good workplace relationships are more likely to be engaged at work. Retention is better. Productivity is improved. All from having stronger relationships. But what if your workplace is not in-person? Or you are not going into an office every day? There are still things we can do to build good workplace relationships - here are 6 tips for cultivating relationships in a virtual world.
1) MAKE IT PERSONAL
There are no shortcuts in relationship building. You can’t snap your fingers and immediately have a relationship with your colleague. Relationships take time and attention. And for lots of reasons, they have become harder to nurture in remote and hybrid work environments. So, let’s get back to the basics – using words, and actions that are simple yet effective. Words and actions that show you care and acknowledge your colleagues’ lives outside of work.
a. SPOTLIGHT your colleagues when they do well. We all have hobbies, families, and lives outside of the office. How can we make sure we “see” one another by taking time to acknowledge what’s going on outside of work? Has someone engaged in one of their favorite activities, interests, or hobbies? Has someone gotten engaged or married? Has someone been elected to another board for a nonprofit? Has someone won a community award of some kind? Taking an interest in our colleagues’ interests helps to make people feel heard and seen.
b. THANK YOU. These are two of the most important words you can say when building relationships. People just don’t get thanked enough. This can be in person, during a meeting, through a virtual email or card using a platform like Evite, or go the old-fashioned route and surprise them with a note in the snail mail. Super simple but can make a big impact.
c. HAPPY BIRTHDAY; happy anniversary; employee milestones– just remember people on important days. Get creative; this can be as simple as wearing birthday hats on a Zoom call or sending an e-gift card to their favorite ice cream shop or a simple text with a Gif. But it feels good to be remembered and celebrated. So how can you better celebrate your colleagues?
d. CONGRATULATE your colleagues when they do well. Your colleagues are doing great, tiring, sometimes under-appreciated work. Show you care by shouting their success from the rooftops. In an article in the Harvard Business Review about High Performing Teams, one thing High Performing Teams do differently is giving and receive appreciation more frequently, and that doesn’t just mean manager to employee that also means colleague to colleague. Roles in this regard don’t really matter; it’s the appreciation that matters. So how can we use team meetings, the organization’s website, the organization’s social media platforms, and other virtual staff gatherings to show others just how awesome they are?
2) GET TO KNOW THE PERSON BEHIND THE SCREEN
From that same Harvard Business Review Article about High-Performing Teams, another key to success is that they invest time bonding over non-work topics. Time should be devoted to this because personal conversations identify shared interests and create more meaningful connections. Spark conversations with your colleagues about books, sports, and family, and consider doing so outside the “office” or 9-to-5 schedule when possible. Getting to know the person behind the screen sometimes means you have to get out from behind the screen. The best teams aren’t more effective because they work all the time. In fact, it’s just the opposite. High-Performing Teams take the time to connect, which results in better teamwork down the road.
3) BE KIND
To put it simply, there isn’t enough kindness in the world. And when we are trying to build relationships, kindness will oftentimes make us stand out. So, tip #3 is simply: Be Kind. It’s something I tell my young children every day and a lesson I think adults might need to hear even more than our children. In fact, I wrote a whole blog about it. Check it out!
4) BE PRESENT
When we are virtual, it’s way too easy to multi-task, but I encourage you to think about how you would conduct yourself if the meeting were in person, and do those same things over Zoom. You don’t have to be on camera every minute, but you should be present every minute. Don’t turn your camera off, check a dozen emails, finish the report you are writing, feed the dog, change out the laundry, and make 4 phone calls while you should be PRESENT on the Zoom call you’re on. People can tell when you’ve checked out, and that is NOT GOOD for relationship building. What is good for relationship building is paying attention, being an active participant, and networking with others – especially when you are able to get into smaller breakout rooms with your colleagues. Take advantage of those opportunities to build and maintain relationships or perhaps make a new connection with a colleague you didn’t know well before. Don’t let a good opportunity pass you by because you were checked out.
5) USE MULTIPLE METHODS
There is not a one size fits all solution for communicating with your colleagues. When you desire to build a relationship with a colleague, you have to learn the person’s communication styles and preferences. Particularly in 2023 when there are so many ways to communicate with one another. We also have to keep in mind what is most effective. Albert Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 Rule indicates that only 7% of all communication is done through verbal communication, whereas the nonverbal component of our daily communication, such as the tonality of our voice, make up 38% and 55% from the speaker's body language and facial expressions. With that in mind, consider the effectiveness of the communication methods at our disposal (face-to-face, video options, audio-only options, and text-only [i.e., email, text, chat]). I’m not implying that email, chats, and texts don’t work, because they do. Sometimes we email to be efficient. But when we are thinking about building and strengthening relationships, your relationship needs to be pretty strong before I know your tonality and can guess what your body language would be through an email. When you don’t know someone well, you could misinterpret what is being written, without the cues given by tonality of voice, facial expressions, and body language. In fact, an article in Entrepreneur Magazine quotes a study that 50 percent of emails and texts are misunderstood because people tend to assume the worst in others when the intent of the communication isn’t clear.
6) LISTEN
Said another way...be more like Alexa/Siri – they are always listening. Perhaps I should have put this tip first because without listening, it is hard to build a relationship. And I don’t mean the “shaking your head while you’re thinking about the other 50 things you have to do that day” listening. I mean the truly engaged listening that takes practice and a desire to want to know the other person better. Virtually, this takes even more commitment because we have so many distractions looming behind the camera (i.e., pets, children and other family members, Amazon delivery drivers, and unread emails). But listening doesn’t always mean listening to another person within a conversation. It may mean we are seeking out information to LISTEN TO. Part of relationship building is truly understanding other people. This means we need to do our research and learn about other cultures. Order books from Amazon read online articles, read/watch the news, find a documentary about another culture. Just put in the effort.
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